Over and over again when hearing from readers or talking to people
I’ve found that one of the biggest problems in keeping up with a diet
or getting the most from an exercise routine is, quite simply, that
they lack the confidence to do so.
Maybe they’ve failed before, maybe they don’t see themselves as having
a great body, maybe they just don’t realize what they’re capable
of--whatever the cause, the result is they fail to push themselves.
And more often than not, that failure can be traced back to lack of
If you’ve ever spent any time researching how to build
confidence and be more successful, you’ve no doubt seen statements
such as the following several times:
I will kill this workout!
I always succeed!
I’m the type of person that loses weight!
I’m great at overcoming adversity!
I love a good workout!
Sounds pretty familiar, right? I’ve spent a few minutes myself
spouting off mantras like this in some futile attempt to change my
perception of myself, trying to make my brain magically flip on that
success switch. Unfortunately, it never worked.
So why is the concept so popular if it doesn’t really work? Because it
actually does tap into something--the problem is that it’s about as
effective as filling a swimming pool using your favorite coffee cup.
It can work, but you’re going to be there for quite a while. The
reason is simply because saying words and making statements doesn’t
override your core belief. More importantly is that it doesn’t do much
to affect your thought process itself, which means you do everything
in virtually the same way as you would have anyway and get the same
So the question is, how then can you use words to do these two things
and to find the success you’ve been looking for?
In the same manner you might use if you wanted to convince a friend to
think in a certain way about something. You wouldn’t tell them what to
think and expect it to work. You’d ask them questions that you felt
would lead them to the answers you wanted them to find. Once the
questions were asked, their brain would take them the rest of the way
on its own. You can’t TELL them what to think any more than you can
tell yourself what to think. But QUESTIONS are made of magic.
Questions set the brain on the path of frantically looking for answers
and meaning. So when you want to convince yourself of something,
simply ask the right questions to lead you there:
Why am I about to get a great workout?
Why am I becoming more successful at sales?
How am I going to beat my last record?
How am I going to stick to my diet today?
Note that I didn't suggest a yes-or-no question such as Will I stick
to my diet today? That kind of question doesn't require your brain to
search for concrete answers, and if you're just starting out it's easy
for your brain to simply provide the answer that requires the least
amount of energy and just stop there. But if you ask these or other
open-ended questions with confidence, your brain will automatically
set out on a path to find the answers. This in itself will change the
thought process. Not only will your brain be working for answers, the
question itself affects the core belief because it implies truth. If
someone asks why the sky is blue, you don’t first question whether or
not the sky is actually blue. You simply try to find the answer.
I hope you’ll give this a shot. I know the more you use it, the more
you’ll begin to get out of it. Oh, and just in case this needs to be
said, stop the negative self talk…especially in the form of a
question! All the 'What if they don’t like me? What if this doesn’t
work? Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to me? Why can’t I get a
promotion? Why is life so unfair?' types of questions have to end now.
These statements are extra dangerous because when you are saying this
stuff to yourself, it’s almost guaranteed that the words actually
represent your core beliefs. Feed them and it doesn’t matter what you
do on the other side of the coin. Those beliefs become a slippery
slope until they can devour you and control every aspect of your life.
Turning your goals into positive questions, however, can make all the
difference. Your brain will search and try to find the answer, and
when it does find the answers, I bet it will also help you find
confidence you didn't even know you had.
Until next time,
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